Wild Predictions for a Wired 2007

Here are some predictions for 2007:

* Google Stock Hits $1,000 per Share

* Internet Traffic Doubles ...

to 5,000 petabits per day by the end of 2007. And 80 percent of it is peer-to-peer file sharing, mostly Skype video and BitTorrent.

* BitTorrent on TiVo

Speaking of, digital video recorders get BitTorrent baked in, bringing internet video to the living room.

* Spam Doubles

No-brainer -- but no one cares because we're all using IM, especially at work.

* Second Life Ends a Life

Skullduggery in Second Life -- probably digital adultery -- ends in a real-life murder.

* Year o' the Laptop

Half of all new computers sold in 2007 will be laptops and 20 percent of those will be Apple's MacBooks.

* Print to Web

A major newspaper gives up printing on paper to publish exclusively online.

* Semel Says 'Sayonara'

Yahoo CEO Terry Semel discovers he wants to spend more time with his family.

* Apple Goes Apple

The entire Beatles catalog is licensed exclusively to iTunes for a year.

* HD-DVD Wins

HD-DVD is the clear winner over Blu-ray in the DVD format wars. Oh yeah, and the PS3 is a bust.

* Implantable Contact Lenses

Synthetic corneas will be approved by the Food and Drug Administration, allowing the shortsighted to have artificial contact lenses transplanted right into their eyes. No more popping out!

* Digg Becomes the New Friendster

Digg holds out for a big payday but ends up like Friendster (i.e., no friends).

* No More Dads

Artificial gametes made from female eggs are sold over the internet, making fathers biologically irrelevant.

* PaedoSpace

Sex offenders start their own social networking service. It's popular on Capitol Hill.

* Life on Mars

One of the Mars rovers lasts another year on the red planet (making it four years total). The other plunges into a crater.

* Greenland Becomes Green

As the ice melts, Greenland becomes literally green.

* Raelians Need Not Apply

A human embryo is cloned for real.

* First AT&T, Then Google

A whistle-blower reveals that the National Security Agency has been wiretapping Google for some time.

* Google Goes G-Man

Google gives up search queries to the feds. Likely scenario: The FBI asks who's been searching for terms like "dirty bomb" and Google hands over all the IP addresses.

* Don't Don't Be Evil

Google drops "Don't be evil" as its corporate mantra. Evil has its justifications, but no one likes a hypocrite.

* DNA Database for Athletes

To stamp out doping, the Olympic Committee orders all athletes to submit DNA samples to a global database, which matches blood found in doping forensics to cheats. Forensics include needles, tubes, bags of blood and skin cells on stacks of 100-euro notes seized at doping clinics.

* Online Sitcom Picked Up by Network

Encouraged by the news, the internet becomes home to 5,000 clones of Friends, shot by friends using their friends but unwatched even by their friends.

* They're Watching You

Congress passes a law requiring internet service providers to keep logs of all web traffic and e-mail for three years.

* NYT Goes Free

The New York Times opens its archives from behind the paid firewall, realizing it's more lucrative to be the internet's paper of record than charging readers for individual stories. Thankfully, Thomas Friedman's clichés and mixed metaphors remain behind the pay firewall for at least two weeks.

* MySpace Spaces Out

MySpace splinters as teens head for niche sites. New services that control profiles across multiple social networking sites begin to take off.